Self's the Man - Larkin

Another one of Larkin's poems about love and relationships is Self's the Man, where we get a view of the selfish persona telling us about how Arnold has picked the route of the married life. The upbeat rhythm of the poem, which seems different to many of the other Larkin poems I have read so far gives off a kind of mocking view on Arnold's life. In the first stanza for example he describes Arnold as if he is a very desperate person. It seems as though Arnold 'married a woman to stop her getting away'. This leaves the persona questioning why everyone thinks that he is selfish just because he is married. He wonders why society doesn't think that Arnold is selfish because he married a woman just to stop her getting away.

We also get a sense that the persona represents Arnold's life in a negative light since he has become married. For example has to 'put a screw in this wall'. It gives us the sense that he never stops and that married life is boring, repetitive, busy, pressurised and stressful. A good representation of this in the poem is the repetitive colloquial rhyme scheme. Words such as 'work, drier, fire' all give us a sense of an everyday reality or routine. That as long as Arnold is married, he will be in this same routine all of his life. The third stanza also represents more negative views on this aspect of marriage where he has kids as well. Larkin is presenting the view that once you are married all your free time suddenly disappears. The persona is representing the contrasts between his life and Arnold's. On one hand Arnold's life is very stressful however the persona is the complete opposite, he is alone and feels peaceful through this.

We also come across the view that the persona may feel sorry for Arnold because he chose the married life and nagging wife but then he doubles back on this idea. The quote 'What I can stand' suggests the view that the persona knew that the married life was not for him, so if Arnold is fed up with the married life why feel sorry for him because Arnold was the one after all who picked the decision to go down the route of being married in his life. The persona ends

 the poem on a dysphemism through the word 'van'. This is symbolism that this van is a Hearst, ready to carry Arnold off from going insane or dying from his stressful and never ending hectic lifestyle.

This poem links nicely to the poem by Larkin 'Dockery and Son', through the fact that the two poems main themes are life choices and that the life choices that you make will determine your future as a person.